Tuesday December 14 2004
approx. time: 530 PM EST
I began closing the door of my home. Knowing I would be entering hell, and possibly not comming back, I walked a long 25 minutes in the cold, taking every step for grantid. I looked up at the dark sky in the crisp cold, then over the small hill I saw it....SEARS.... or as we call it... Hell... I entered the booming warzone and punched in. My manager came to me and gave me orders to report to my post at Ladies (codename : CW-1)
6:00 PM EST
Already I noticed my fellow brother in arms "Janet" under heavy assault by the armies of christmas shoppers, i immediatly dropped my cell phone in the draw, asked where was "Joe" who was stationed till 11:15pm and took my stance behind the cash booth I heard news that he was M.I.A. Then armed with only a scanner, some shopping bags, a pen, and some boxes and a chas wrap to take cover under if needed I began my defense. Taking out shoppers 1 by 1, virgerosly scanning the tags, bagging the merchandise, asking if they needed boxes, and finishing the enemy off with giving them change back, or swiping their credit card.
7:00 pm EST
It's been exactly 1 hour, 15 minutes ago my fellow cashier Janet was relieved from duty. The hord of shoppers kept piling up to face me next. I began to become exhausted, for most shoppers were armed with payloads of clothing, as well as a sidearm of a "25% coupon" After helping a difficult enemy I looked back at the armies of shoppers, angry because of the time it was taking. I requested reinforcments over the lodspeaker, but it seemed all of the other cashiers have been pinned down in their cash wraps by the hordes of enemy. The Lack of our forces seemed to be no match against the Shoppers due to us being low on cashiers.
8:00 pm EST
Since the relieving cashiers were either M.I.A. or pinned down I requested for a relief from my manager, luckily she pulled a fellow employee out of initmates and had her cover my 15 break. It was Michelee, a quite attractive fellow soldier, as well as a good friend outside the warzone during "R&R" Together we took on the threat with ease, i finally took my 15 minutes of rest
8:15 pm EST
I come back and notice she's been what seemed as Ambushed by the enemy, I fought by her side and we eliminated the hordes of the Shoppers.
9:25 pm EST
Though she was supposed to report back to Intimates (CW-3) She decided to stay and hang with me, as we picked off and finished shoppers 1 by 1. The battle seemed to be closing to an end.
9:50 pm EST
Michelee reported back to CW-3 as ordered by the manager and I was left to fight alone once again.... It has been a good 15 minutes of dead silence. Which seemed to good to be true, They were definetly up to something.
9:55 pm EST
5 minutes before my tour of duty was finally comming to a end for the night and I was damn well happy but then, the mother of all counter offensives were unleashed, starting with a decoy shopper who was being used as a biological weapon with a payload of items. The horrid smell of curry had a strong radius of 5 feet, I was within 2 feet of the enemy, I was unequiped with a gasmask and was forced to use my resources. I held my breath as long as I could while taking on the enemy. 6 Minutes later and she still was giving me a hard time with discounts, I began to give up hope. I had a feeling my life was going to end within a few minutes. I looked up at the line to see the enemy soldiers lined up, eight oir nine of them appeared from nowhere it seemed. It was dead silent in the store and then they apeared. Must have been using chronospheres, quite advanced technology I thought to myself.
10:07 pm EST
7 minutes past my shift and I was still under heavy attack. There was stil nobody to cover the stronghold while I was relieved. Luckily one of my managers Kenny came, and told me to fall back and get some R&R. I pleaded him not to stay behind and take on the enemy, but he insisted, so I did what he said and Saved myself. I escaped with minor injuries from ink tags, sharp edges on boxes, and from some sharp parts on the enmies items. I escaped with my life, I was fortunate.....
I Look back at the battle of 12/14/2004 and think, we seemed to not stand a ahcance on that day, using every resource we could to make it out in the end. And we survived, we took on the Christmas Shopping Horde and survived to see another day. Unfortunetly I am requested to report back for duty tomorrow, thursday and sunday.... back to the killing fields....of SEARS...
-All done by yours truly, this as actually based on a true event that happened a little less than an hour ago.