Figure A.
A ninja (actually two ninjas, so it's like double the awesome). A ninja who may or may not have chopped off heads. I'm not sure. I just got a picture and ran like hell.
Figure B.
A guitar. On fire. The guitar could be playing like Jimi Hendrix too. Or Led Zepplin.
Figure C.
Corn. Ignore the fat kid eating it. Or orally molesting it. I'm not sure what the innuendo there is. Or don't ignore him. This is important. The corn is. Not the fat kid.
Figure D.
I don't know what this thing is, but it's got a fat guy next to a tall guy. I think they're nazis. I'm not sure. It really has nothing to do with the movie, I guess, I just thought it was funny. So it's here. But he's fat and there's a fat kid above it and fat people fall down and chase donuts, or so I'm told.
Figure E.
Some chick. I don't know what she's doing but she looks like she's gonna kick someone's ass because they pissed in her Wheaties. Also, she has bewbies. Which are always good. You can't beat bewbies.
Combine all figures together, and you'll get Van Helsing (except there's no fat nazis next to tall nazis).
I absolutely loved this movie. It was cheesy in some places, but in the same sense as X-Men, it was awesome. Like ninjas playing Jimi Hendrix on a flaming guitar while soving corn down the throats of fat nazis standing next to tall nazis who are hitting on chicks about to beat some fat kid's ass.
Or something.
Either way, it was pretty much non-stop action, the acting was great (great in the sense that you don't even think about if the acting sucked or not). The action was great, and really...
I don't think I've ever though werewolves were as incredibly awesome as they are until after I saw this film. And when Van Helsing defeated Dracula (I won't say how) I almost stood up and shouted ':DING PWNED, BITCH!' (Yes, it was that awesome)
If you're looking for complex plot, a love story or something beyond Absolut Asskicking ®, then you can go die. Because I liked this movie. And I don't like many movies.
<U235> It's kinda stupid-silly like XMen and Spiderman, but it has unbelievable amounts of assbeating in it
<U235> never have I seen so much ass beaten in such an awesome way
<U235> I guess Kill Bill was a lot of assbeating, but it was boring assbeating
<RaydenUni> i liked spiderman and xmen
<RaydenUni> i even liked Daredevil
<Grillkohle> kill bill sucks
<U235> amen
There, undisputed fact (No, I'm not saying I didn't like XMen or Spiderman. They were goofy films but they were still awesome. Like Van Helsing is awesome). Go see the movie. Now.
Topic: Van Helsing (Read 7783 times)
