Author Topic: A Collection Of My Poems  (Read 2476 times)

January 24, 2004, 04:25:37 PM
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Ulatoh

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ho, hum, so Bob told me to post my poems, here some are,  
Criticizim is welcome

_________
Let Me Rain                              


 Let me rain
Let quiet melancholy drip away
mayhap those saddened drops
fall upon furtile ground

Drip, Drip, Drip

More pieces fall away
one day this cloud will drip its last
and gleaming sunshine will shine though shattered woe
With gladness, kindness, and warmth
those beams strike the ground below
and there, a seed of happiness
watered in distemper and nurtured with joy
will begin to grow
______________________________________________


So, this one follows in pretty much the same theme, anyone ever get annoyed at seemingly  one-sided relationships?
____________
What?, Where?

What virtue is there in a selfless love?
What freedom can you feel in solitary flights of fancy?
What redeeming pleasure can be found inside this singularity
Perhaps these arent to be found in altruistic passion
But maybe in the act following this
When love, in finding a companion is no longer selfless
When flights of fancy are taken together
Perhaps the boundarys of such emptiness
Are defined when fickle love returns
________________________________

This one made a girl fall for me on the spot, untill she saw this other guys car... no big loss then, i guess. hehe
____________
Allways Remain

Velvet snowflakes fall softly around me
Much more gently than the cold, pelting rain
They create this peace within me
Much to ironclad for this world to stain

When the daytime sun shines brightly down
And its warm rays fling themselves gleefully upon you
Together we will beam at the clouds, beneath their warmth
Or gaze upon the nighttime stars that sparkle like gems in a crown
Smile as a nocturnal breeze blows cottonwood seeds across your face
We can ooh and ahh at the stars, and watch as they come shattering down

But that brilliantly shining sun can blister us, laying here below
Those scorching rays can take what you have and melt it away
And the blustering breeze becomes a gusty gale
All it’s nighttime air once cooled is now blown far, far away

When you are left with precious little to spare
Life takes all it grudgingly gave,
And the pain is more than you can seem to bare

When you need a safe place to go
This place will embrace you with comforting arms, gentle warm,
This quiet place, hidden deep within your soul.
 
Cling near to me, cleave to what will never decay
For you and I, this place will never fall away
In the hour when all gone
And oppressive horizons are all you see
Know that I am here
And for you, here is where I’ll always be

_________________________________________________


This one is more optimistic than its title would suggest
__________________
My Mischevious Heart

My mischievous heart
Why are you so guilty?
Discontent, discordant, dispassionate
Why do you feel so much of the void
when there is naught in it to be felt
When your world supplies no torments
Why do you wail?
You’ve no reason for your lamentations
And for your sake the world need feel no remorse
So pick yourself up from the soul-crushing depths
And alter this loathsome course




This ought to be enough to get you started, ive got many, many, many more

THERE ALL COPYRIGHTED SO DONT THINK ABOUT BEIN SLICK AND SLIPPING ONE TO YOUR GIRL

lol, j/k, use em if you want, but then they will expect more 0_o
Virus removed.
Your sig pic contained naughty language. Removed. -lolfighter
I never had a sig pic :p
Then where'd that picture come from?
Nanites.

January 24, 2004, 09:18:35 PM
Reply #1

BobTheJanitor

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Nice stuff, very nice. Sometimes it seems like you're writing more of a thesaurus than a poem though. Don't worry about being too wordy and making it sound more fancy than it needs to. You've got a good way of expressing what you mean, don't cover it up with too many syllables. That's hardly a complaint though. GG!

Lunixmonster: Banning the NS community one smacktard at a time. -lolfighter
there are a lot of aaaa...mmmmm.... "HAPPY" pirates on this ship. -GrayDuck

January 24, 2004, 09:20:09 PM
Reply #2

Ulatoh

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yea, theres a fine line between excessive elegance and monotony... a fiiine line
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Your sig pic contained naughty language. Removed. -lolfighter
I never had a sig pic :p
Then where'd that picture come from?
Nanites.

January 25, 2004, 01:31:27 PM
Reply #3

Lito

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i have yet to read a happy poem on the internet.

Pretty much all the poems on the internet are written by kids who think they're cool and all poetic and stuff:

<xxaznqtpie2948xx> lol! hay guys read my poems k? ^^: www.aznprydeqtpiegurlvietfillippurdyprincess.livejournal.com

which turn out to be a churn of words from the thesaurus and has no real inner meaning, but the author makes it "sound cool" as if it had an inner meaning.

then you have your run of the mill internet Goths

<Devil'sgurl> K guys, i'm really going to commit suicide this time.  Oh, before i go, read my poems, pls kthnx: www.aznprydeqtpiegurlvietfillippurdygothprincess.livejournal.com

Yet another muck of words that sound really cold and death's advocate-like, but goth poems do have an innermeaning.  The only bad thing is that its always the same pointless meaning that anyone couldn't care less about

You, sir, are a break in the mold.  Your poems arn't about death and decay, and arn't cheesy, however the poems are like anyother poems on the internet:  They are all based on love and such, and always have a cold, nochalant tone.

HAPPY POEMS PEOPLE!
GREY SKYS ARE GOING TO CLEAR UP~
MAGICAL SQUIGGLE YEAH!

Nice poems, but the genre is overrated.
Go, go, go, Johnny, go, go, go
Go, Johnny, go, go, go
Go, Johnny, go, go, go
Go, Johnny, go, go, go
aah - Johnny B. GONE
sig images must not exceed 22kb -DHP


Thanks to Bijiy for help on the sig
Japanese Lesbian Kissing ftw
Waffles aer teh lews.