How To Meet The Gender Of Your Choice

[Niteowl]

seeing as i'm currently the oldest feller here, i figured i'd pass on some info i've learned about human relations. it's not even close to the be all and end all of how to meet and get along with ppl, but it something, at least, what the owly knows

i know there are studs and whatnot among y'all, please help the rest of the LMers out with yer knowledge.

soo, background:
i've had a few gfs.. uh.. 6. and now i'm married. so. i think i know something. at least, my record says im' not a hermit.
i've read a few books on the subject, so if you wanna read aboot it, just ask.

Totally Random Tips
-you were born with 2 ears and one mouth. use them in proportion. in other words, be a GOOD listener. talk about what she (i'll just assume you are hetero male, if you're not, change the pronouns as you see fit ) likes, what interests her.
  often it's about themselves. just go around tommorrow and notice how little ppl REALLY listen to each other. usually ppl are just waiting to get their word in edgewise. an old saying goes "Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours". now this isn't just a sorta empty listening. you ahve to pay attention, and actually find the person interesting. if you don't, then, well, you prolly don't wanna be with them do you

-watch the Tau of Steve, some of those tips are pretty good.

-smile often and cooly. that is, don't smile like a hyena 24/7, but don't be so stoic and like ice. most women like approachable fellas, and you can make that happen by not scowling.

-do things that interest YOU, and try and find someone who does it too. don't go to a  Bougainvillea convention in the  hopes of getting a hot chick, if you don't, in fact, like bougainvilleas.

-dont' pine after some chicky that has nothing in common with you, and is super duper hotter than you are. this is kinda common sense. just as you want her because she is hot, she too, will want someone who is hot. what goes around, comes around, and all that.

-be open, warm, and good natured. usually interests women more than scowling and brooding.

-laugh goodnaturedly at anything you would normally be embarassed about. acting embarassed about something is 99% of the embarassment.

-will postmore as it comes to me.

[Uranium - 235]

Let's all practice hitting on Gem


Hey Gem, how old are you?

18!? You're first!

[sonic]

Giggidy Giggidy Giggidy Giggidy Giggidy Giggidy Giggidy Giggidy Giggidy Giggidy

aaaaalright

Please refrain from spam like this. Niteowl has had many a good thread ruined this way.

[Satanic Monkey]

Alllllllllll day   Alllllll night


edit: I'm sure talking to them isn't a tip?

[@gentOrange]

You'd be surprised how many people just walk up to a girl and ask for a date. Or hem and haw about whether she'll say yes or not. Knowing who you're dating is definatly important thus it's not only a tip but a good one. If you don't want to talk you better be good looking and be after an extremely shallow girl or a nymphomaniac  ^^ .

[Geminosity]

lol, the listening one is pretty true... you'd be amazed at how much people love talking about themselves ^^

um tips?  If you boys like a girl just go talk to her for crying out loud lol.  lets face it, nobody is psychic so if you don't talk to them how will they ever know you exist? =3

Oh and here's the biggy; go out!  you won't meet a heckload of people infront of a computer (barring net relationships which I've always been sceptical about ^^; ).  Go join some clubs/societies, hit the arcades, go to the gym or swimming, check out meetings in your area and just generally get out and about.  Nothing wrong with enjoying your PC, just don't make it your life huh?

Like owl said, being a nice person helps too but for most of you guys I'm hoping that part isn't a problem.  Confidence helps too as long as it doesn't steep to arrogance =D
Don't wander about staring at the ground, hold your head up, smile at people and don't be afraid to make eye-contact.  If you look away when your eyes touch with someone else's most people take that as a sign of disinterest unless... I dunno, you blush and smile while you're doing it XD

[crack]

Sorrry. Dont need tips for getting a date.

But heres one: Dress Well!!!!1111(and cut your hair *cough*)

[BlaqWolf]

all sound advice.

i'd like to add something else tho. don't be nervous. it's okay to be a little nervous, but god, don't sit there and make a big deal out of talking to a girl. it's all in your head. you'll just end up sweating. it's not cool. they're just ppl. talk to em like you'd talk to a bud (well, you have to realize that she's a girl too.. you can't sit there and talk about manly stuff... but you'll be so busy listening that you won't have to worry about talking too much!)

oh yeah, and don't listen TOO much. you have to contribute to the conversation as well. girls like to talk, but when they run outta stuff to talk about, don't sit there and say nothing. make sure you participate. listening doesn't mean being a log that the girl is talking to.

that's my input!!  ^^

[.NmF. Screen]

Niteowl, I very much agree with everything you have said.  I'm 19, and I've had 2 gf's, (although I have been asked out more than that, but I was dating someone else).  I dated my first gf for 1 year and 9 months.  From what I have been told, that's quite a long time for a first gf.  It took me a while to become really interested in one girl, but I had talked to her a lot before, and I liked what she enjoyed, so things went well.  She actaully asked me out (I was too chicken to do it myself, but I'm not complaining *nudges all the girls*)  My second girlfriend, I'm still working on heh.  We have been going for a year and three months now.  Unfortunately, she and I met in college at UNC Chapel-Hill.  She is living in Charlotte, and I am living in Cary (about 2 hours away) which makes things difficult at times.  Anyway, I have found both of my gf's through stuff that I like doing.  First one, marching band, second in TaeKwonDo.  In both cases, we have had pretty similar interests, although a few different, but that just makes it fun.  You get to try new things that way.

Anyway, to all you lunixmonster forum posters, the advice that niteowl, gem, and the others have posted is pretty darn sound advice.  Only thing I can add is to relax if you can.  From my experience, girls don't like to be next to an edgy guy, if the girl you are dating makes you edgy when you are around her, and it has not gotten any better since you first started dating, then you might be better off finding someone you can relax and "be yourself" around.

Again, I can't say much about dating a guy, I have only dated girls, but being a guy, I can tell the females that are listening, that most guys, me too, have trouble even walking up and talking to a girl.  Most of us, I think, consider a lot of girls to be too "out of our league" in most cases.  If you notice a guy that seems to be watching you, if you are interested, go ahead and walk up to him, and start talking.  Most guys will be receptive to talking to you, specially if they are interested.  I think that walking up to them and starting to talk boosts their confidence because you showed interest too.

Anyway, enough of my babeling.  I would definatly consider what Niteowl and the others have said, they know what they are talking about, I've experienced a lot of it.  If you have any questions, please IM me at "pepsihatman" or "portablepepsi" (which ever is on) or just post here, and I'll try and help.  I like talking to people too, sometimes I get bored sitting here.  I'm sure the others would be glad to give advice/listen also.  Speaking of listening, thanks for listening to me and my ramble!  Peace.  

BTW, how old are you Niteowl?  I am guessing late 20's at youngest, and 35 at the oldest.  (nothing wrong with being older though!)  

                       --> David --> aka. --> .NmF. Screen

[Niteowl]

check the age thread Screen lots of interesting info. like how old Isamil is . but yeah, hitting the big two eight in a few weeks.

oh, and nice points

[JHunz]

Another thing that's pretty important is cleanliness.  Shower, shave, wash your hair, don't wear the same clothes five days in a row, etc.  Girls put stock into appearances too, and this is one area some people tend to neglect.

And I'd like to put one more vote in for just telling them you're interested.  You'll never get a yes or no if you don't ask in the first place.

[esuna]

All pretty sound advice.

One thing i might add is my policy of dating.

Don't go out looking to hook up with someone, if you don't then you end up disappointed. Just go out, have a good time, talk to new people (ANY people), get to know some new faces and just act like yourself.

None of my previous girlfriends / boyfriends i've met through going out specifically to hook up, i've just gone out, got talking to new people and through seeing them at local clubs or pubs i get to know them more and more, until eventually i ask them if they wanna go see a movie or whatever.

Enjoy life, don't wallow on "the fish that got away" just have fun and meet new people, eventually you won't have to look, they'll find you.


And by the way, i am generally an introvert and can be quite anti-social, but still even i have no problems with meeting new people.

[BobTheJanitor]

Too true. Spend those teen years out socializing. Get to know people, hang out, meet their friends, meet more people through them, and so forth. Eventually you'll meet someone that clicks well with you, and you let things move at their own pace.

Don't settle too quickly for the first person that comes along, and don't believe that you're in looooove just because you like someone and they like you. That leads to a string of painful relationships. Be friends, just chill. If something worthwhile is going to happen, you won't be able to force it, only ruin it.

Don't spend all your time playing games or browsing forums or chatting in IRC! There's plenty of time for that once you've hooked a woman and settled down. Then you just have to keep her from drop kicking you out the window because you won't get off the computer!


Alternately, for the completely hopeless, there's always rohypnol.

[Ulatoh]

and allso, dont fall into stereotypes, or expect them from others...

not to toot my own horn, but im a moderately talented poet (im published, so take what you will from that)  yet, girls dont go "gaga" just cause your a poet... you gotta be kind, a good listener, and genuinely care about the persons feelings.  If you go out and are insensitive to the other person, your first date will be your last..

of course, this is all from observation, I'm 18 and still no GF :/  oh well, more time for writing and NS!!

[BobTheJanitor]

A poet? Ooooh!

Get thee to forum 14, stat! We need more creativity at work around these parts.

[Ulatoh]

done, bob

[Niteowl]

-be confident, but not cocky

-be generous to others (ideally, all the time) but especially in front of the object of your affection (OOYA). that is, try to put ppl up, as opposed to down. don't harangue someone cuz they don't know .. i dunno, the latest engine type in some pickup truck.

[Uranium - 235]

And where we come from, knowing the size of the engine in your pickup truck is something you MUST know, just in case you get involved in a pickup-truck-engine-size discussion with your date!

[BOZO]

I dont have a truck.

[Ulatoh]

<--- Has truck.

<--- Doesnt know engine size.

<--- Cant imagine a girl who would care.

<--- lol

<---  :p