Author Topic: The Cooking Thread..  (Read 20818 times)

August 23, 2004, 05:14:19 AM
Read 20818 times

Necrosis

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Ok folks, I know how you much you enjoy eating sugary treats. I, Necrosis, r teh mastor chefzor, so I will show you how to make tasty treats with which to bribe the opposite sex or gullible relatives.


Today, a double bumper. Light Chocolate Sponge, and homemade Hot Chocolate sauce. I hope you all try to make it, and if you do, post up pics. I know what it should look like so fakers will be quickly spotted and shaaaaaaamed.

Without further ado -


Necro's Light Choc Sponge

4 oz margarine
3 large eggs
1 level teaspoon baking powder
4 oz caster sugar
5 oz self raising flour
4 oz drinking chocolate

Heat your oven to 180 degrees Centigrade.
Grease and line two 8" sandwich tins.

Place everything in a bowl and beat well. You can whisk, but it tastes better if you mix it with a spoon the old fashioned way. Do this for about 10 mins, make sure its well mixed and smooth. Split the mix between the two tins, smooth the top, and put it in the oven for 35 minutes. The cake should just be coming off the sides of the tins. Lift them out, turn them out of the paper onto wire racks, leave to cool.


Phase II

Chocolate Buttercream filling

2 oz butter
4 oz icing sugar
1 oz drinking chocolate

Pour butter and drinking choc into bowl, beat well, gradually add the sugar, continue to beat well. You can use a whisk but make SURE the mix is smoooth otherwise your cream will taste gritty. Try a bit and if its smooth then its ready to be used.


Put buttercream on one layer of cake, put the other layer on top. Simple.


You can ice the top if need be, use more buttercream. I shall tell you about icing on another recipe.



Now, for the coup de grace


Homemade Hot Chocolate Sauce

500g Dark chocolate
100g Double cream
Milk

Melt the dark chocolate, mix with the double cream. Mix and mix and mix and mix and mix and mix.  When there's no white streaks, add a LITTLE milk, just a drop or two. Mix more. Continue until you are happy with the pouring consistency. Then serve with the cake (or you can have this with pancakes, waffles, icecream... it'll form a shell on ice cream - GREAT!).





Ok folks, enjoy this installment of Necrosis Cooking. Tune in next time for more recipes!

Post your pics here folks, I'll post mine when its done!
Necrosis killed Holy_Devil with pistol
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August 23, 2004, 05:18:11 AM
Reply #1

Redford

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...I had no idea you could cook, necro. :o

August 23, 2004, 05:26:35 AM
Reply #2

lolfighter

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But of course!
Quote
<Necrosis> Redford cooking is my hobby
Flee! He will shake 'n bake you!

August 23, 2004, 10:28:25 AM
Reply #3

Niteowl

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this looks AWESOME, i'll try it soon.
"I don't have to know an answer, I don't feel frightened by not knowing things, by being lost in a mysterious universe without any purpose, which is the way it really is as far as I can tell. It doesn't frighten me."
-Richard Feynman

August 23, 2004, 10:49:06 AM
Reply #4

Malevolent

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Anything with chocolate is good. Yum.
It's twice as clear as heaven and twice as loud as reason.

August 23, 2004, 02:44:06 PM
Reply #5

Necrosis

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I made mine and took 2 pics of it, I shall be adding them to this thread after I set up the digicam software.

It was very tasty, the manual mixing process ensures its very smooth and not gritty. I opted for a second batch of buttercream filling, placed it on top as an icing and then added chocolate buttons for effect.

It went down very nicely with some cups of tea. Pics later.
Necrosis killed Holy_Devil with pistol
Holy_Devil: cheater

August 23, 2004, 04:05:39 PM
Reply #6

Diablus

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THIS MAN NEEDS A TITLE Stating: The Offical LM CHEF!

great job, im definetly going to try this, and watch everything go wrong and I end up destroying half the United States ^_^

August 23, 2004, 05:03:41 PM
Reply #7

Satiagraha

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Quote
THIS MAN NEEDS A TITLE Stating: The Offical LM CHEF!
[snapback]27152[/snapback]
No! Wrong title!
Quote
I, Necrosis, r teh mastor chefzor
[snapback]27112[/snapback]
teh Mastor Chefzor!

I'll see if I can scrounge up my recipe for a Black Forest Dump Cake. It's soooo delicious. Here, I'll describe it. A can of cherry pie(pai) filling with a pack of devil's food mix with a bunch of chocolate chips and 2 sticks of butter, all melted together. Pure chocolatey deliciousness. And it's really easy (and quickish) to make ^_^
« Last Edit: August 23, 2004, 05:10:53 PM by Satiagraha »

We are the shadow that comes in the night and says "ARRR!"
"yarrr I'm gaybeard the butt pirate, and I've come to plunder yer booty!" -TAK

August 23, 2004, 06:11:13 PM
Reply #8

Necrosis

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My digicam porty stuff has been thiefed, its in here somewhere, but I can't lay hands on it.

Anyhow, I'm making another cake tomorrow, at which point I may or may not post up a very good and very quick cookie recipe. Makes 40 cookies per batch, I made 200 once in a day because I was bored and had nothing to do, lol.
Necrosis killed Holy_Devil with pistol
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August 23, 2004, 08:57:25 PM
Reply #9

Legionnaired

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Alright, so that's how to make dessert.

If you want to make dinner, Get a link of smoked sausage, 2 bell peppers, 3 bananna peppers, 1 jalepeno, nad half a red onion. Cut em all up into little pieces, Mix in 6 oz of sweet and sour sauce, and as much hot sauce as you dare.

Throw it in some tinfoil, wrap it up, put it on something hot for 10 minutes, flip it over, leave it there for 5. Cut open and eat with crusty bread.

All in all, shouldn't cost you more than 3-4 bucks a serving, which can easily be spent at a fast food place, but this is far better and just as fast as getting in your car and driving there.

August 24, 2004, 08:55:41 AM
Reply #10

BobTheJanitor

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Ah my cooking directions are usually more along the lines of 'poke holes in plastic, microwave on high for 5 minutes.' But I'll wave this recipe at my woman and see if it results in tasty dessert goodness being prepared. More likely it will result in a slap across the teeth and a suggestion to make it myself, but such is life.

Lunixmonster: Banning the NS community one smacktard at a time. -lolfighter
there are a lot of aaaa...mmmmm.... "HAPPY" pirates on this ship. -GrayDuck

October 17, 2004, 02:11:06 PM
Reply #11

Necrosis

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COOKIE!!


Here I have for you the cookie recipe. I've made plenty of these but again my digicam is snafu.

So here we go!



3/8 of a cup of margarine with 3/8 cup of crisco (or Trex for the mighty UK)
2 eggs
3/4 cup white sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
A big family bag of cadbury buttons
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt.


Stick the margarine/Trex into a bowl. Cream the butter by adding sugar gradually, I like to add 1/2 cup white, whisk, 1/4 cup white 1/4 cup brown, whisk, and finally the 1/2 cup brown, then whisk.

Add the eggs. Whisk furiously.

Add vanilla, baking soda, salt. Whisk very thoroughly so you make sure the flavour is spread out.

Add the Buttons. STIR them in - otherwise you'll kill your electric whisk. This is how I broke mine. Once mixed you can can taste test it. You can also use it to make cookie dough ice cream if you so wish.

Spoon the mixture onto some baking paper on a baking tray. I use little blots around the size of a £2 coin, make sure they're not pyramid shaped. You want them to look like the cookie dough pieces in Ben & Jerry ice cream. Stick them in an oven at 350 C for about 10 minutes. You'll know when they're cooked, at any rate.

Lift the tray out and you'll find its easy to get the cookies off the baking paper. Leave to cool, eat.

All in all the mix takes about 15 minutes to make if you have ingredients to hand. The number you'll make can range from around 30 to 40, depending on how big you like your cookie. I can make 40 in around an hour if I'm going flat out, but you can take your time and do this with kids/partners/family/whatever.

Variations include using a big bag of M&Ms, or Malteasers, or you can do my personal fave which is to add about 3/4 of a banana to the cookie mix in order to make banana choc chip.


I deliver these to my workplace, a friend's workplace, and a brother's workplace, and have mailed them off as gifts too. No complaints yet. Happy baking!

Join us next time on The Delicious Hour!
Necrosis killed Holy_Devil with pistol
Holy_Devil: cheater

October 17, 2004, 05:29:33 PM
Reply #12

Cartman2b

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You should try my coca cola cake..

I'll PM you the recipe


November 13, 2004, 02:44:18 PM
Reply #13

Necrosis

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Where's my cola cake pm eh???



Here's some mouthwatering pics for you of how I mangle a chocolate sponge.
Necrosis killed Holy_Devil with pistol
Holy_Devil: cheater

November 13, 2004, 02:45:06 PM
Reply #14

Necrosis

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And when we slice open the cake we get -
Necrosis killed Holy_Devil with pistol
Holy_Devil: cheater

November 13, 2004, 06:04:21 PM
Reply #15

Uranium - 235

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Of course, every now and then you wanna knock it up a notch with a blast from your spice weasel. Bam!




For starters, your antenna is in my crotch. Also, I hate you. And finally, you can't cook for squat.
- Waaaaahahahhaha. What was the first one again?
I hate you.
- I thought that was number two!
I knocked it up a notch. Bam!
« Last Edit: November 13, 2004, 06:12:31 PM by Uranium - 235 »

February 05, 2005, 10:07:30 PM
Reply #16

Necrosis

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Temm demanded more baking goodness, so here we go.

Also, it draws near to pancaek day, so I have pancaek for you too.

First, PANCAEK.


4oz Self-raising flour
1oz Caster sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 pint milk (thick)
OR
1/2 pint milk (thin)

Mix it all together. Decide how thick you want the pancakes and add the milk appropriately. Heat a pan, add a little oil to the pan. You want it greased enough so the pancake doesnt stick but not so greasy that its a big fatty lump.

Put a little bit of your mix onto the pan, heat until its brown, then flip it and continue.

When done, put it on a cooling tray.

For chocolate pancakes, add a little cocoa or drinking chocolate to your milk. For strawberry pancakes, add some strawberry milkshake mix (I use Crusha or Nesquik).

For a pan, I prefer to use a nice big skillet-y thing that I also use for various potato breads.

For actual serving, I prefer a coating of sugar and then lemon juice over the top. You may use maple syrup or jam. Or you can toast these pancakes and put butter on them. Their technical name is DROP SCONES, however everyone here calls them pancakes so pancakes they shall remain. If you add a LOT of milk you will end up making crepes. If you do this, good luck. You will need a very big spatula otherwise the crepe will fall apart with any attempt to flip.

Speaking of flipping, if you MUST flip your pancake in the air, be damned sure you've no residual oil in the pan. You will not be laughing if you throw hot oil into the air and coat your face/hands or someone else's face/hands.






THREE LAYER CHOCOLATE FUDGE CAKE

Preparation is key for this one, as you need to mix the ingredients fairly quickly.

4oz plain chocolate (I use Aero bars or bournville for this)
1 teaspoon Bicarbonate of Soda
2 eggs, SEPARATED
1/2 pint milk
4oz butter
8oz plain flour SIEVED
4oz demerara sugar
4oz caster sugar

Ok, separated eggs are easy. Just crack the egg a little and then trap the yolk in one half. Tip yolk from one half to the other, without breaking it, and letting the clear remainder go into you bowl of whites. Separate them as much as you can without smushing them.



Grease and line your tins. You will be needing three, for this is a big cake. Melt your chocolate with the milk and the demerara sugar. You'll want to take your time with this part, make sure its well dissolved. You might have to add things GRADUALLY to the milk in order to speed things up. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES DO YOU LET THIS BOIL. Add your bicarbonate to it, and leave it to cool.

While this is happening, get your butter and caster sugar and cream them together. Basically this means pulverising them both until you get a light white/pale yellow mix. Beat the egg yolks into your creamed mix.

Whisk your egg WHITES until they're stiff. They should look like the top of a meringue, and you should have no liquid at the bottom of the bowl you're whisking them in. This is known as "stiff".

Add your cooled chocolate mix to the creamed butter/sugar, mix by degrees. This means a little choc mix into the creamed mix, whisk it, then more choc mix, whisk it, etc. Once thats done, add the flour to the mix.

Finally, fold the egg whites into the mix. Folding will require a big spoon. Basically run your spoon around half of your mixing bowl, then cut directly across to where you started. Think of a D shape. The half circle of the D, then cut directly across back to the start. DO NOT WHISK IT WILL NOT WORK. Folding, iirc, beats out all the air, and this is what you want. Whisking will fluff it up, this is BAD.

Once its all been FOLDED in, pour the mixture into the three tins and put them in the oven at 180 degrees C (Gas Mark 4) for about 45 minutes. This cake will NOT raise much, but you should still see it separate from the sides of the tin. Once they're cooked, turn them out onto a wire rack.


ICING

4.5oz butter
3oz cocoa
12oz icing sugar
1/8 pint milk

I tend to make this while the fudge cake is baking in the oven. Why? Because hot from the oven fudge cake is the best way to eat it, so having the icing ready for its emergence is a good thing.

This icing is very tricky. To be honest I don't use 12 oz, i tend to use 11oz and 4oz of cocoa. You will have to experiment as you see fit. You can use this as icing/filling for the previous sponge cake too........ however I prefer buttercream for that one.

For this recipe, melt the butter, and stir in the cocoa. Cook it gently for about a minute, then remove it from the heat. While its cooling, stir in the sugar. I would put about 10oz of you sugar in before you start tinkering with tasting it. Mix it in gradually, it'll make the end result a lot smoother. Rushing it will mean it wont mix fully, which makes crappy icing.

When you're happy enough with the taste, add the milk. You only want enough for a passable pouring consistency. The 1/8pint value I use makes it a bit thicker, as I will be using it as a filling too.

Again I stress, mix the crap out of this icing. If its not mixed well, the sugar will rip your teeth out. Make SURE you're happy with the taste.

Once its mixed, sandwich the layers of your cake together, and if you're spare icing, bung it over the top. Leave to cool.


This cake is very nice when warm, however if you really want to push the boat out I suggest making some of my hot chocolate sauce and serving it with the cake.

Please note this cake is hard to perfect, but when made right it will make slaves out of people.

Happy baking, see you same bat time, same bat channel!!
Necrosis killed Holy_Devil with pistol
Holy_Devil: cheater

February 06, 2005, 06:52:20 AM
Reply #17

lolfighter

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Just a quick comparison: Skulks are like pancaeks: Throw 'em too high and they'll stick to the ceiling. And once they're there, they'll fall down right when you're walking underneath.

February 06, 2005, 09:56:10 AM
Reply #18

Necrosis

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Perhaps the marines should be using lemon juice to clear the bacteria then?
Necrosis killed Holy_Devil with pistol
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February 06, 2005, 01:48:02 PM
Reply #19

sonic

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Sonic's guide to a quick and easy meal:

1 Mother
1 Hungry teenager
1 tsp of "I'm hungry, get me something to eat please"

Voila!