<Can't think of a title>

[spinviper]

Chapter 1. The Kharra

  The Kharra have been spreading throughout human space at an alarming speed. The Ariane Arm sector was where the Kharra were first encountered and where the Trans-System-Authority was sent to combat them. The Ardine Gurdpost position at the edge of the Ardiane Arm was set to defend human space and to eliminate any nearby Kharra infestations. A distress signal from the nearby mining ship the Pillar of Autumn had been received warning of a Kharra infestation and requesting immediate reinforcements. My squad was sent to help them. It consisted of five men- Private Johnson, Private Hudson, Private Reza, Command Jon "Merkaba" Chapman () and I, Corporal Zayl.

Chapter 2. Lock n' Load

 I sat in the TSA Dropship with my Light Machine Gun (LMG) laying beside me. I faced my teammates who had equal looks of stern determination as I had. "ETA Two minutes to arrival!" the piolot shouted. I retrieved my LMG and slammed a fresh clip of ammunition into its chamber. The large foreboding silhouette of the Pillar Of Autumn loomed ahead. " Docking imminent! Lock n' Load" the pilot shouted as we neared the docking bay.

Chapter 3. Arrival

  The sound of fresh clips slamming into ther chambers and the releasing of safety harnesses echoed throughout the Dropship. As the doors slid open, the his off decompressing air could be heard. We pulled out a Command Console(CC) from our Dropship along with a Turret Factory (TF) and some turrets. We positioned the Command Console near a resource nozzle containing Nano-Slude used for building. We positioned the Turret Factory next to the Command Console and placed the turrets all around them thereby forming a defensive circle. A resourse tower(RT) materialized atop the resource nozzle. That was a miracle of Nano-Technology. Being able to build a structure from molecule to molecule. Commander MErkaba entered the CC and order us to "Build" the RT. Although it was already built, we had had to activate the nanites or nano-robots whithin the structure.

Chapter 4. Another Resource Tower

  A waypoint appeared on our  Heads-Up-Dsiplay (HUD) reading "Acess Corridor B4" 100 meters. "There should be a resource nozzle there" Commander Merkaba explained. From the docking bay we had to walk down a long, dark and winding passageway. From what I could see, in the middle of the passageway there was an air-vent. As we walked past the air-vent, I thought I heard a deep meancing chuckle. Apparently, I was not the only one. "Gotta' be a skulk" remarked Private Johnson in a gruff voice. "I bet it was from the fvent" I replied. I kept a close eye on the vent as we proceeded forward. "Spread out as best as you can." said Commander Merkaba. "Yeah, yeah we know the drill" said Private Reza, annoyed. "I'm just doing my job" Commander Merkaba replied. "I'll cover your backs" I said, as I turned around and started walking backwards slowly. True enough, a small dog-like creature jumped out of the vebt abd started moving rapidly towards us. "Skulk!" I shouted and fired a few shot well-aimed bursts at the skulk. I grinned in grim satsisfaction as I saw it go down. "Its dead." I said as I ran back towards my squad. When we reached the resource nozzle, the RT was already atop it, waiting to be activated. After we activated it, our commander "electrified" it. Any aliens that got close to it would take damage, though it acted mostly as a deterrent.

Will post rest later, now time to play on LM.

[spinviper]

Chapter 5. Upgrades.

  "from the ship's schematics the only possible Hive locations are the Auxiliary Generator, Mining Control and the Bridge. I've rules out the Aux generator since it was jettisoned soon after the Kharra presence had been detected. HQ does not want Kharra controlled ships on the rampage. From what I can see, only the hive on the bridge is active. Iw ant you guys to get back to base. We are going in for a decisive strike." Commander Merkaba said. As we headed back to base, a small pistol and armour icon appeared on the right of our HUDs. "Weapon and armour upgrades? I don't remember us having an Arms Lab." I radioed back to Merk. "Hudson built it while you were having the firefight with the skulk." Commander Merkaba replied.

Chapter 6. Shotguns and Chaos. When we returned, three shotguns lay beside the armory. Private Hudson, Private Reza and I picked them up, while private Johnson stuck too his LMG. A waypoint to the bridge appeared on our HUDs. The passageway to the bridge was short. But as we reached the end, a turret like structure with spikes atop it appeared ahead of us. "Offence Chamber!" I shouted as I started to unload my shotgun at it. The rest of my team followed suit. We managed to dodge all the spikes it had hurled at us. "Be wary, there might be a gorge nearby. They also have sensory chambers." Sensory chambers allowed the Kharra to be claoked when not moving. We moved cautiously toward the hive and when we finally reacher there it was eeriliy quiet. Only the huge bulbous organic mass which spawned Kharra creatures called the Hive lay rooted to the ceiling infront of us. We moved in an defensive circle to get right below the hive. Just as the last one of us got into position, the world exploded into chaos...

Chapter 7. Bloodshed.
  Skulks, along with fat pig-like creatures called Gorges, came towards us in a frenzied rush. Gorges spat globules of acid at us, and skulks tried to get close to bite us. We opened fire and started to walk backwards. Aglob of acid hit PRivate Johnson on the chest, making him drop to the floor. A skulk lunged at him, but a shot from my trusty shotgun put it to rest. I dragged him into the middle of the dfensive circle and contiuned firing until all the Kharra were dead. A nano-medpack materialized next Private Johnson. As he activated it, the Nanites worked furiously to repair damaged tissue. In less than a minute, Johnson was back in fighting condition. We surrounded the hive and unloaded all our ammo into it. It cried out in pain and with it last cry of denail it burst into a shower of green blood.

[spinviper]

Chapter 8. A job well done.

  We returned to our Dropship and packed up our things. "A job well done!" Commander Merkaba praised as the Dropships's doors slid s hut and as it headed back to the Ardiane Guardpost.

[spinviper]

C&C please.  

[That Annoying Kid]

Chapters could be a bit longer

I like how you included the little reference to halo, I like how merkaba got to be a character

DETAILS DETAILS DETAILS

set the scene, paint a picture, tell us about the pillar of autum, etc etc etc

the only thing I can think of that would really help you improve would be more length in your story

[lolfighter]

Oh, and don't call it "The Pillar of Autumn." We are gamers. We have played Halo. Halo has nothing to do with NS. Calling the ship "The Pillar of Autumn" stirs up Halo associations. We get confused. :wacko:

[spinviper]

Oh, and don't call it "The Pillar of Autumn." We are gamers. We have played Halo. Halo has nothing to do with NS. Calling the ship "The Pillar of Autumn" stirs up Halo associations. We get confused. :wacko:

[snapback]34786[/snapback]

Okay, couldn't think of a better name lol.