If I didn't already have such a cool title, I'd beg for it to be changed to 'Uppity bald virgin'. That's just awesome.
<3
BTW I spent 10 years living in Chicago, I am aware of what there is to do, but thanks anyways :p
(Yes, Canada sucks. Or mainly just the Canadians. I swear if I meet one more who tells me how "Canada is better blah" I'm going to send a corpse back to their 'better land')