Overly Chatty Penguins

The Ready Room => Off Topic => Topic started by: lolfighter on March 29, 2004, 05:38:12 AM

Title: The Onos
Post by: lolfighter on March 29, 2004, 05:38:12 AM

The blastdoor wouldn't last much longer. I ejected the spent clip from my light machine gun, jamming a fresh one home. One in the gun, one in the belt, and me all alone. Not a good outlook when you're facing something as big and heavy as a rinoceros, and twice as strong. The blastdoor now looked seriously out of shape, and I stepped back a few paces in case it came flying from its hinges when the beast finally broke through. It did. With a screeching sound of hardened steel being torn apart, the heavy door was ripped from its frame and sent flying, crashing to the ground and grinding along it with a wailing sound. A sense of foreboding filled me as the monstrous shape of my adversary emerged from the shadows. For a moment it just stood there, its small red eyes narrowing, fixing their peircing gaze on me. I returned the stare, knowing that my odds were slim, but prepared to take my chances. My foe gave a low, grumbling grunt, sending a stream of steam from its nostrils. Then, with a bellowing roar, it charged.

I turned tail and ran. I ran down corridors, past alcoves I didn't dare hide in in case the Onos found me, over pipes that had crashed down from the ceiling during the explosion a few hours back, through several smaller and larger rooms, then even more corridors. All the while I could hear the beast pounding away at the floor plates behind me, sometimes getting closer, sometimes falling behind a little, but never tiring. I didn't dare look back - if I'd fall over something now or make a wrong turn it'd all be over. Still my pursuer was hot on my heels, several times I felt its hot, humid breath down my neck, but it hadn't caught me yet. The Onos seemed tireless in its pursuit, but my breath was faltering. My lungs were afire, my legs felt like sticks that could give way at any moment. If I wanted to come out of this alive, I had to come up with a plan, and fast. I made another right turn, and found myself at the end of a blind corridor. The corridor turned darker, and as I turned, the Onos stood in the entrance, looming. It knew it had trapped me, that there was no way out, that I could no longer get away. I was reminded of a cat, the way it eyes a mouse in a corner, knowing that it has won, savouring the moment, the pinnacle of the hunt, the moment before the kill. Even better if the prey still tries to resist, to fight to the last. The prey, in this case, thought likewise, as I opened fire with my puny lmg. I could see a few bullets connecting, spattering blood onto the surrounding walls, but most of them just ricocheted off the massive headplate harmlessly. The Onos now came thundering down the corridor, a freight train of flesh and bones. I smacked the emergency sealing button for the airlock bulkhead.

My nemesis lay crushed between the powerful mandibles of the hydraulic bulkhead door. It was still living, but barely. Great gouts of steam mixing with yellow blood came from its mouth and nostrils, the creature taking its last breaths. As I drew closer, I heard what sounded almost like mumbling from the mouth of the beast. I bent down, and as my adversary exhaled for the last time, I distinctly heard it:

"omg h4x"

Title: The Onos
Post by: sonic on March 29, 2004, 05:40:19 AM

Very nice  :)

Title: The Onos
Post by: Isamil on March 29, 2004, 07:52:15 PM

Ahh, killing onos with elevators, fun fun.

Title: The Onos
Post by: lolfighter on March 31, 2004, 04:55:46 AM

Door! Door! Not elevator! DOOR!

Title: The Onos
Post by: Grimm on March 31, 2004, 08:26:32 AM

Pretty funny stuff. Fortunately I've never been killed by a door in NS yet. Plenty of elevator deaths though.  :angry:

Title: The Onos
Post by: BobTheJanitor on March 31, 2004, 09:42:32 AM

I get my share of them with the doors on nancy. (NOT by killing myself in the door to break it in a half open state: that's lame and anyone intentionally doing it will be slapped with a wet monkey tail) Either by luring them at me and then hitting the switch and running, or, even better, by letting them run into an area to attack us and then closing the door behind them. Ohhhhhh they love that let me tell you. Nothing like the sound of a button desperately being pressed and then the death scream of an angry onos. Now if only they'd make the marine damage to alien armor ratio more sensible so I could feel like something had been accomplished when an onos is killed.  :angry:

Title: The Onos
Post by: Dark on March 31, 2004, 12:07:31 PM

very nice there lf

Title: The Onos
Post by: ThoraX on March 31, 2004, 12:22:24 PM

hehe... cool story.

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I get my share of them with the doors on nancy.

heh, that reminded me of one game on nancy. A jetpacker was running from an onos out of the marine start. I figured it would be best to close the door as soon as the JPer got though to slow down the onos... I hit the button a little too early... Crushed the JPer in mid-flight and broke the door. Then I read "who the hell closed the door on me?"

I stayed quiet.  :rolleyes:

Title: The Onos
Post by: Satiagraha on April 03, 2004, 10:09:18 PM

Hahahahhahahahhaha! :lol:

wonderful! I give it 2 silver thumbs up! (I can't afford gold o_O )

Title: The Onos
Post by: That Annoying Kid on November 30, 2004, 11:43:00 AM

olo sati

LF, perhaps you could tell us a little bit about this explosion that occured earlier

I loved the omg h4x ending, it got me to laugh out loud. I've seen temjin as comm kill fades with that door in nancy, and it reminded me of it. You do an excellent job in painting the mental picture of him running away.

Title: The Onos
Post by: lolfighter on December 01, 2004, 08:35:06 AM

Hmm, the explosion earlier. I COULD, but not in this story, that'd bog it down too much.

Title: The Onos
Post by: That Annoying Kid on December 01, 2004, 01:31:11 PM

well yeah, thats what I meant

PREQUEL BABAY

Title: The Onos
Post by: lolfighter on December 02, 2004, 07:12:55 AM

Ugh, I don't know if I could bring myself to fall for the prequel fad.

Title: The Onos
Post by: That Annoying Kid on December 02, 2004, 08:46:29 AM

<_<

[edit]
When I was reading you talked about the large explosion, I thought to myself "hmm I bet there could be a decent story in that, especially with the way LF writes"  :huh:
[/edit]

Title: The Onos
Post by: Diablus on December 04, 2004, 10:35:35 AM

now if the Onos was smart enough to use stomp he wouldnt of had this problem. Must've been a NSplayer

Title: The Onos
Post by: lolfighter on December 05, 2004, 08:00:36 AM

Single hive Onos all the way baby.

Title: The Onos
Post by: Dark on December 05, 2004, 08:33:36 AM

well he still could've eatten the guy before he pushed the button to close and thus break the doors on the onos

Title: The Onos
Post by: Malevolent on December 05, 2004, 08:59:43 AM

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Single hive Onos all the way baby.

[snapback]35238[/snapback]

So when you said "charged" in the story, you meant he was just running at him like normal?

And why couldn't the onos catch up with the marine? They run faster.

It was entertaining, I must say. :D

Title: The Onos
Post by: Diablus on December 05, 2004, 09:53:58 AM

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And why couldn't the onos catch up with the marine? They run faster.

actually, unless it has celerity its slower than a Marine (why do u think Marines always chase Onos with hmgs when its at hive 1 with D chambers?)

Title: The Onos
Post by: lolfighter on December 05, 2004, 10:32:43 AM

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Single hive Onos all the way baby.

[snapback]35238[/snapback]

So when you said "charged" in the story, you meant he was just running at him like normal?[...]

[snapback]35250[/snapback]

Yep...

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And why couldn't the onos catch up with the marine? They run faster.

actually, unless it has celerity its slower than a Marine (why do u think Marines always chase Onos with hmgs when its at hive 1 with D chambers?)

[snapback]35253[/snapback]

... and yep.

Title: The Onos
Post by: Crispy on December 06, 2004, 10:32:59 AM

Nice story but I noticed the "omg hax" out of the corner of my eye when I was about 2 lines in so that part of the ending was spoilt for me. I don't think you need to explain the explosion or the Hive/upgrade-status of the Onos because it's a fan fiction, a story influenced by but not neccessarily possible in the NS Universe.

Otherwise I'd be the first to start talking about the explosion with the fallen pipes (oma gees @ trigger_hurts!) 2 hours previous (what version was it? oma gees @ 2 hour NS rounds!) and the way his legs felt like paper and his breath was faltering (oma gees, NS has no stamina bar!) and so on...

And that would be lame. BTW I liked the structure of the story, nice long paragraph for the relentless chase really adding to the tension and mimicking the perceived length of the pursuit. Also the commas spaced out evenly in each line could be said to paralell the thundering hooves of the Onos' continuous charge or possibly his unregulated and desperate breathing.

Next time make it longer  :D

Title: The Onos
Post by: Malevolent on December 06, 2004, 11:49:58 AM

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And why couldn't the onos catch up with the marine? They run faster.

actually, unless it has celerity its slower than a Marine (why do u think Marines always chase Onos with hmgs when its at hive 1 with D chambers?)

[snapback]35253[/snapback]

Ah, I never get anything but celerity for an onos, so I never noticed that.

Title: The Onos
Post by: lolfighter on December 07, 2004, 07:13:08 AM

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Nice story but I noticed the "omg hax" out of the corner of my eye when I was about 2 lines in so that part of the ending was spoilt for me. I don't think you need to explain the explosion or the Hive/upgrade-status of the Onos because it's a fan fiction, a story influenced by but not neccessarily possible in the NS Universe.

Otherwise I'd be the first to start talking about the explosion with the fallen pipes (oma gees @ trigger_hurts!) 2 hours previous (what version was it? oma gees @ 2 hour NS rounds!) and the way his legs felt like paper and his breath was faltering (oma gees, NS has no stamina bar!) and so on...

[snapback]35363[/snapback]

Weeeeelllll... when I write fan-fiction, I tend to not stick to the game itself. I mean, I'm not writing accounts of actual games, I write fiction. It doesn't bother me that NS doesn't have a stamina bar, in real life you'd run of breath nevertheless, even a tough-as-nails frontiersman.
In games, we sometimes have to decide between gameplay and realism, which is why realism sometimes has to take a backseat. In fiction, we can usually add greater realism without spoiling the fun, mostly because fiction, taking place largely in your mind, has far less restrictions than a game that has to be able to boil down to a long line of binary characters on a gameserver.

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And that would be lame. BTW I liked the structure of the story, nice long paragraph for the relentless chase really adding to the tension and mimicking the perceived length of the pursuit. Also the commas spaced out evenly in each line could be said to paralell the thundering hooves of the Onos' continuous charge or possibly his unregulated and desperate breathing.

Next time make it longer  :D

[snapback]35363[/snapback]

Buh... even I didn't notice all that about perceived length and evenly spaced commas. :blink:

Title: The Onos
Post by: Crispy on December 07, 2004, 11:31:03 AM

My quote:

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I don't think you need to explain the explosion or the Hive/upgrade-status of the Onos because it's a fan fiction

I think you may have misread it...

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Buh... even I didn't notice all that about perceived length and evenly spaced commas. :blink:

Face it you're a literary genius!

Title: The Onos
Post by: lolfighter on December 07, 2004, 03:33:56 PM

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I think you may have misread it...

[snapback]35455[/snapback]

No, I just felt like elaborately agreeing with you.

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Face it you're a literary genius!

[snapback]35455[/snapback]

Flattery makes lolfighter blush. :blush: