Overly Chatty Penguins

The Ready Room => Off Topic => Topic started by: Slink on November 09, 2004, 04:02:56 AM

Title: Eeeeeeeeee...
Post by: Slink on November 09, 2004, 04:02:56 AM
okaaay.  Story time.


once, there was a little boy.  he heard about this great game to play, called WOW.  It was even going to be in an OPEN BETA, so he could try it for himself.

So.  the day came around that the open beta was to take place. he knew it would be that day, from a newsbulletin that had gotten put up.  So he waited.  And then, it HAPPENED!  there would be an open beta today, YAY!  quickly, he went off to fileplanet to start downloading before everyone else.  He got in line nice and early, about 2pm.  the file started.  everything was looking good.

5 1/2 hours later, the whoooole 2.5GB file finished.  He had the WOW beta client on his computer!  Oh boy was he exited.  So he tried to unzip it with his friendly winrar unzipper.  uh oh.  turns out that doesn't work.  luckily, he remembered something about needing WinZip 9.0.  So he went and got that.  Uh oh, turns out his install file is corrupt.  Also, the install file offers him tea and biscuits.

So, our hero thinks, "hey, i'll be smart, and check the tech support forums on the blizzard site!"  Uh oh.  looks like the WOW site is down.  Oh hell.  But he doesn't get too discouraged, and keeps checking it.  YAY, it came back up!  he can now check the tech support forums.  Ooo, there's even a stickied post by a blizzard employee about HIS specific problem, a corrupted fileplanet d/l!  So our hero reads it.  he reads it carefully.  Then he goes to work.

He does what the post says.   He dilligently unzips the file into his C: drive, and renames the folder to the correct name.  Then he starts up the blizzard downloader, and points it towards the file.  Uh oh.  It finds 35mb of an approximatly 2500MB file, and proceeds to start d/ling the rest.  Oh :D.  The installer just decided to baek a caek for our hero! But our hero says "i'm strong!  i'll fix it somehow!"  Poor, stupid hero, he has no idea what's in for him...

So he heads off to the tech forum.  he thinks "maybe i missed something, maybe i didnt' do it quite right."  So he starts trying different things.  Things that the Blizzard tech guy "might" have meant.  They don't seem to make one damn bit of a difference.  Uh oh.  The install file decided it wants a piece of our hero's pai, and it wants it NOW.

Well, he thinks, "maybe i can re-d/l the whole damn thing from fileplanet?"  Seems that fileplanet isn't going to save our hero now, cuz it won't let him get in line for the file anymore.  What the :D?!?  Uh oh.  Looks like our hero just got served the freshly baek'd caek.

But our hero says, "I'm strong!  i can do this!"  And heads back off to the tech support forum, to get some answers.  So our hero heads into the tech support forums.  He tries to post. Oh, he doesn't have an account.  well, that's an easy fix.  he heads off and creates one.  Uh oh.  The install file just picked up it's bottle of champaigne. Want a glass?

He heads bach to the Tech support forum.  He tries to post.  What the HELL?  RESTRICTED ACCESS?!?  What the :D IS THIS ^^!  oh HOLY :D!  Uh oh.  Looks like the install file just pried open the champaigne bottle with it's "magic bottle opener."  

So he tries the general Tech support forum, instead of the special post.  oh jesus, you're got to be ^^TING ME!  RESTRICTED ACCESS HERE TOO?!?  how the HELL am i supposed to post my problems then?!?  OH GOD WHY DOES IT BURN!!!  Uh oh.  Looks like the install file's really going at it.

He tries the general forums.  WHAT THE HELL RESTRICTED HERE TOO?!?  Uh oh.  The install file just took out the expensive silver cutlery and is cutting a nice slice of turkey for our hero. Mmm, so tasty turkey.




install file: 1, our hero: 0
Title: Eeeeeeeeee...
Post by: Slink on November 09, 2004, 04:45:03 AM
oh dear!  it seems our hero was a flaming retard!  he was trying to use the "wowbeta download installer" instead of the "wow open beta file!"  YAY, it's at 1.3GB now.


jesus christ i'm stupid.
Title: Eeeeeeeeee...
Post by: lolfighter on November 09, 2004, 04:51:31 AM
And your post violates my virgin eyes. I'll take the liberty of censoring it.
Title: Eeeeeeeeee...
Post by: SgtFury on November 09, 2004, 07:22:49 AM
* wonders what was going on in the original version* :blink:
Title: Eeeeeeeeee...
Post by: lolfighter on November 09, 2004, 07:30:51 AM
Buttraep. Graphical descriptions of buttraep. No, I'm not kidding you. I wish I was.
Title: Eeeeeeeeee...
Post by: SgtFury on November 09, 2004, 08:52:28 AM
think I prefer the story of caek and pai  :D
Title: Eeeeeeeeee...
Post by: ANeM on November 09, 2004, 09:19:14 AM
Quote
Buttraep. Graphical descriptions of buttraep. No, I'm not kidding you. I wish I was.
[snapback]33085[/snapback]
Damn, that would have been so HAWT too. I'm displeased to hear I missed out on that.  :(
Title: Eeeeeeeeee...
Post by: Niteowl on November 09, 2004, 09:51:01 AM
someone please explain slinky's title!!

awesome post, btw.
Title: Eeeeeeeeee...
Post by: Malevolent on November 09, 2004, 11:01:08 AM
Yes it was quite an entertaining post and I think lolfighter's "additions" made it even better. :lol:
Title: Eeeeeeeeee...
Post by: Slink on November 09, 2004, 11:04:45 AM
Thx lolfighter.  I think my story needed that.  maybe it could just be our wittle secrat?


niteowl, when you're exited, do you ever just kinda make sort of a sqeaky sound?  as in "Eeeeeeeeeeeee"  not saying i ever do that, you understand.

Oh, here's an alternate version of the title "OH GOD WHY AM I BEING SCREWED UNMERCIFULLY!"
Title: Eeeeeeeeee...
Post by: Malevolent on November 09, 2004, 11:15:50 AM
Quote
niteowl, when you're exited, do you ever just kinda make sort of a sqeaky sound?  as in "Eeeeeeeeeeeee"  not saying i ever do that, you understand.
[snapback]33101[/snapback]
Sure you don't, Slink.
Title: Eeeeeeeeee...
Post by: Niteowl on November 09, 2004, 11:28:00 AM
Quote
niteowl, when you're exited, do you ever just kinda make sort of a sqeaky sound?  as in "Eeeeeeeeeeeee"  not saying i ever do that, you understand.
[snapback]33101[/snapback]

well, when i'm exiting something, and the door clamps on me, i might make a squeaky sound as i try to squeak through. but that almost never happens. of course, if i am exited, then i've already gone through the exit, ergo, no squeaky sound. so, hm, now i'm confused.
Title: Eeeeeeeeee...
Post by: Doobie Dan on November 09, 2004, 11:30:53 AM
I think he was talking about the diplomacy thing.

Original post (http://www.lunixmonster.org/forums/index.php?showtopic=2091&st=0&p=30048&#entry30048)
Title: Eeeeeeeeee...
Post by: lolfighter on November 09, 2004, 02:38:52 PM
Indeed. I gave him that title shortly after making this post. (http://www.lunixmonster.org/forums/index.php?showtopic=2091&view=findpost&p=30137)
Title: Eeeeeeeeee...
Post by: Doobie Dan on November 09, 2004, 02:56:34 PM
Which therefore answers the question asked in this post. (http://www.lunixmonster.org/forums/index.php?showtopic=2253&view=findpost&p=33093)
Title: Eeeeeeeeee...
Post by: Slink on November 09, 2004, 10:07:38 PM
ohhh, THAT's what nite was talking about.  I thought he was talking about the title of this post...


oh. um, there's a typo in that other part too.  exited was supposed to be excited.